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Ohh, My Fee!

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start, begin

This is a cryptic-style crossword. Each clue contains two parts: a definition of the meaning of the entry and a literal construction of the entry using wordplay. If you're unfamiliar with this style of clues, check out https://www.theatlantic.com/past/docs/issues/puzzclue.htm for more information.
too long, too short, fit

This is not an error in the puzzle: some of the correct answers are in fact too long or too short for the grid. Use the crossing answers to help determine how they get entered. You also might want to look up the mythological origins of one of the terms in the flavor text... .
too long, too short, fit, procrustean

In the myth of Procrustes -- whence the phrase "Procrustean Bed" comes -- the giant robber Procrustes would force travelers to lie on his stone bed. If they were too short, he would stretch them to the right length. If they were too tall, he would cut off the overhanging part to make them fit. You'll need to play the role of Procrustes and either "stretch" or "shorten" twelve of the answers (six across and six down) in a similar manner.
too long, too short, fit, procrustean

Six Down answers are one letter too short for their grid spaces: you will need to "stretch" them by doubling one of the letters to form a new word that fits the space. Similarly, six Across answers are one letter too long for their grid spaces. You will need to remove a letter from one end of the word (i.e., the first or last letter) to make a new word that fits the space. Once you are done, take a look at the doubled or removed letters in order. Do they spell any recognizable words?
with, no, siesta, extract

"WITH NO SIESTA" is the second half of a message. You will find the first half of the message in the completed grid (its location is pretty obvious).
circle, crackpot, spa, lens

The message CRACKPOT SPA LENS is the first half of a message. You will need to figure out what's going on with 12 of the entries in the puzzle to find the second half.
crackpot spa lens with no siesta, extract

"CRACKPOT SPA LENS WITH NO SIESTA" is one final cryptic clue to the puzzle's answer. One half is the definition and the other half is the wordplay. Solve it like you would any other cryptic clue.
crackpot spa lens with no siesta, length, blanks

Forget about a desired length: can you come up with a single (albeit uncommon) word meaning "with no siesta" that could be constructed via the wordplay "crackpot spa lens"? If so, how many letters long is that word? If it's one letter longer or shorter than six, we've already been using a method to get around that problem... .
NAPLESS

"NAPLESS" -- as a seven-letter word -- does not, in fact, fit into the six blanks below the grid. So, what do we do in this puzzle to answers that are one letter too long for the space in which they need to be entered?
Erratum on : The puzzle page/copy-to-clipboard have been updated to add a missing border that was present in the spreadsheet. The missing border was in column 2, between rows 6 and 7.

Ohh, my fee! I’m soo weary, I’d even lie down on a Procrustean Bed despite the drawback! Hmmm… now, where can I find on?

A copyable spreadsheet is available.

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Across

Across
  1. Ghostly, endless Korean compact
  2. Ground a carbonate ash
  3. Africa band closed loops in ballerina's attire
  4. Christmas carousers will first butt invalids
  5. Bubbly apple soda tastes icky initially
  6. Charlotte's state is a long-running procedural
  7. Pitcher Paige casually broke chats
  8. Overdose after chorused "Ra," for one
  9. Cheat endless number with Mediterranean app
  10. It's in Iolanthe, a terrible drama
  11. Erring without first embracing cross is potentially deadly convergence
  12. Dappled bearer of inspiration for Sir Isaac
  13. Meat with American sandwiches!
  14. Card shapes men's attire
  15. Ash thrower bothered syrupy matron
  16. Coffeemaker to heal drilling platform, reportedly
  17. Unstated tactic ruined without center
  18. Emerging aroma follows an inverse
  19. Fractured state just a sample of what's to come
  20. Roughly beheaded torso
  21. Strike ore first, coming back for jewels
  22. Disorderly cleric stuck in Edna’s odd embraces
  23. Something I tried eating myself, initially
  24. Frolic in the middle of cue
  25. Sneaky trait held by Sylvester and G-man Eliot

Down

Down
  1. Animals moving backwards without legs first take a hot beverage for endurance
  2. Imagines, without brief acknowledgement, what a model does
  3. "Bet Tupperware's the container for a Caesar:" quote
  4. In the midst of bungled recon, I become one who makes up jargon
  5. Flying insect soaring into drink
  6. Where you often find the hit lingo that shatters the fourth wall
  7. Ray flips resale endlessly
  8. Married woman over 65 in short-lived Soviet beauty pageant
  9. Some messages from work are just pants
  10. Lower 2/3 of esophagus roiled by E. innotata fraxinata
  11. Glaswegian chug: after the first two, you’ll forget everything!
  12. Ottawa-based law enforcers rock maps unevenly
  13. Demanding professor's aide crossing out
  14. Touchy feedback IN CAPS hit on a bender
  15. Regulars keeping return for lessees
  16. Bloody? Fight back
  17. For one, Itchy Mobile replaces home phone in house
  18. School is May 1st – Sept. 1st: them’s the breaks
  19. Wayward tribe like a pooch to avoid
  20. Steakhouse order for IT trip garbled
  21. Little finger cut in half, reassembled with first knuckle replaced by tip-top fashion accessory
  22. Scrabble pieces include an extra T at championships
  23. One of the original Bobbsey Twins found in an antiquery
  24. Don't use the doorbell: it sounds like the groove in an arrow
  25. Oysters' yield: beheaded noblemen
  26. Comfortable cover for tea
  27. Silver, speaking statistically, makes terrible ante

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